Snow Demographics

It's an oft-repeated fact that there are 80 words for snow in Inuit. However, less commonly know is that there are various words for skier and boarder too: park junky, powder hound, speed demon, high flyer, low rider, the list goes on. In fact, to take a tour around the resorts is almost like walking through a zoo. Getting in through the crowded gates with your ticket can be stressfull, but once you're in the crows disperses and you can enjoy the views. From the safety of a chair lift you can look at the park junkies lounging areound like so many seals, grouping above the jumps and occasionally seperating from the herd to perform an astounding athletic feat and then joining the next lethargic group 100 feet farther down. Once you reach the top of the mountain and start down the hill, a pack of racers can whiz by like gazelles, sleek and focused as they blow past in a gust of wind and snow. Also visible dotted around the slopes are the close cousins to the racers, the speed demons. Compared to the strict pattern the racers run as they shoot from race course to lunch to training-grounds, the solitary speed demon can be found wherever the monstrous snow cats have been, It is widely believed that these solitary creatures actually prey on snow cats, because after thorough observation it can be concluded that they follow the cat tracks and so-called "groomers" as fast as is physically possible, abandoning all responsibility and safety in the hunt for the snow machines. If you are lucky in your travels, you may come across the rare powder hound. These creatures tend to stay away from the more populated areas, lurking in the trees or at the peaks. Identifiable by the newest gear, extra fat skis, and, after succesfull hunts, faces and heads covered in snow. They travel in packs, but once the soft, fluffy prey is sighted there is no teamwork or friendship. The creatures go in to a "snow-lust," losing all reasoning and self control until the powder has been thoroughly skiied out. However, all these wonderful specimens, from the powder hounds to the park junkies, are under constant threat from an invasive species that overrruns their habitats and often upsets their feeding habits: the tourist. Noticable by new, unused gear; gaps of an inch or more between helmets and goggles; out-dated or ill-fitting clothing, and especially by the akward gait and tendency to fall.

Black Friday

Yesterday was that day again, Black Friday. After all the heartfelt, gooey camraderie and goodfeelings of working together on Thanksgiving, it's a relief to cancel it all out with a good day of cut-throat, backstabbing competition over vacuum cleaners and iPods. The world needs to be balanced, right? We couldn't just have a day celebrating a time where everyone came together, and then leave it like that. The good feelings would spoil faster than the leftover turkey. Instead, we remind ourselves that America wasn't built on those wimpy synergistic ideals. It's much more important to celebrate the American legacy by fighting against out neighbors in order to save a few pennies. And it's more historically accurate. Did the Indians and Pilgrims just live in peace and prosperity after that first Thanksgiving? Of course not, the next day they were at each others throats, for cheap land instead of cheap shoes, but it's the idea that counts. I for one am glad that we finally got all this nonsensicial teamwork out of the way, because that's obviously not what Thanksgiving is about. It's apparent that the turkey day is really made so everyone can celebrate their obscene riches by stuffing themselves at least ten times as much as is reasonable for survival. Because if we eat ten times as much, we'll be ten times healthier and live ten times longer, right? It's simple math that we learn as children. And lest anyone worry that Christmas will be an aftershock of goodheartedness and fuzzy feelings, the car companies have the situation under control, reminding everyone that Christmas is really about buying things you don't need, because obviously happiness only comes from materiel goods. Why else would we celebrate buy eating candy, eating turkey, buying presents, eating Easter eggs, and all the rest of the consmer holidays. It's the American spirit, after all.

(For anyone that's worried, this was my first sloppy attempt at satire)

SNOW!

Park City collectively rejoiced this morning as the town woke up to a thick blanket of sparkling, fluffy Utah powder, perfectly matching the opening day of Park City Resort. In a ski town like this one, there is nothing so invigorating or unifying as the first fresh foot that falls from the sky. The streets filled with people going for a walk in the first snow storm of the year, occasionally punctuated with spontaneous snowball skirmishes or snow angels in the roads. It wasn't until the families started to head back for home that the true gravity of the situation started to pile up faster than the little flakes. Snow meant winter. Obviously the main attraction of winter is skiing or boarding, and this excitement is what brought on the celebrations. But skiing isn't so simple. For those who were caught off guard, as it is easy to do, all of a sudden the lack of skies, fitting clothes, passes, and plans started to sink in. Especially for teens, winter can be the most trying season of the year. The need for equipment entails a need for money, or some very generous parents. Although it's always worth it, breaking open that piggy bank to pick up a pass, or shelling out a year's savings for new skis is hardly pleasant. Along with the dough drain, there's just the plain work. School starts to pick up, and weekends become more and more busy, just as kids finally have something to do on the weekends. Shoveling and snow blowing also help add a new set of chores. Driving in the winter weather means snow tires, longer trips, cautionary warnings from parents every time you leave the house. The combined pressure of all these is incredibly poorly timed, because the time you really want to spend all day everyday on the mountain is the same time you have the most other obligations to attend to. But hey, you'll still find time to go enjoy that fresh snow, and that's all that matters.

Carrying Plastic

As teens go through leaps and bounds towards "freedom," (or at least being an adult, as it is in question how free they actually are), one of the big steps along the way is that first bank account equipped with a magical plastic card that let's you buy things without money. Well, not exactly, but it can seem that way. Credit or debit cards can be unbelievably handy, in a few ways. They eliminate that agonizing choice of how much money to carry in the wallet, always trying to balance between having enough to spend and having too much, making you either a spendthrift or paranoid about losing it. With the card, you carry all your money with you, but if disaster does strike, all those caboodles of cash are not instantly gone. With any luck and a phone call or too, you can get another card and get right back to swiping it. It probably also saves you money in the long run. All those countless pennies and dimes that jingle in your pocket, get deposited somewhere and mysteriously disappear now stay safely in your bank account. After maybe 5 purchases, that could be a whole candy bar you're saving. The problem is that it is all to easy to use a card. You don't feel the physical sense of loss as you hand over a wad of cash, and you aren't shocked back to your senses when you open up a sad, empty wallet. Instead, you can blissfully spend all that hard earned dough in a free-fall of careless generosity towards yourself until you suddenly hit the ground with the earth-jarring realization that you just blew your whole stash of cash. So credit cards are really just like anything else: the better it feels or seems the worse it is for you.

Trick-or-treating: How old is too old?

Halloween is fast approaching, blowing in on the cool autumn winds. With Halloween comes the excitement of costumes, parties, and candy gallore. But teens may be in a tricky situation regarding their treats. There's no defined cut-off age limit for trick-or-treating, but wherever it is, the general consensus is that teens, especially 15 and older, are above that line. When tromping around neighborhoods lugging pillowcases to be filled, more and more often they end up trudging back home, sacks woefully light, the victims of age-descriminating candy givers. They may be a little old, but candy tastes just as good at higher ages, so often resourcefull students will find ways to grab the treats anyways. The easiest way is of course to play babysitter. A younger child acts as a free-pass for candy, as people are much kinder towards the caring older sibling than they are towards a greedy teenager. When no small sibling is available, often it falls upon the smallest member of the group to take up the duty. Choose a childish, conealing costume, like a ghost, and any vertically challenged person can help bring in the candy. Of course, teens always find other ways to humiliate themselves to get what they want. Originality goes a long way towards convinving candy-misers to open their bowls. Improvised skits, songs, stories; all will be attempted this year in the quest for candy. But of course the best hastily slapped together plans still fail. When that happens, there's always the bacjup plan. Head over to wal-mart, buy your own bags of candy, and settle down somewhere with some scary movies.

Driving : Chains of Freedom

It seems like the biggest goal in any teens life, the biggest leap of liberty, is the drivers license. We strive for it, put in countless hours of extra class-time, observation, and driving just to get it. It seems to represent freedom, the ability to go where you want, when you want, to listen the the music you like at whatever volume you wish (generally significantly louder than your parents like), and really, just be a licensed person. Theres something reassuring, knowing that you officially exist now, that you have a proof of ID handy on you at all times. But besides the physical license, starting to drive is not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. First off, unfortunately, they generally don't hand out cars at the DMV to go with your first license. So even though you legally can drive, you don't have the wheels to physically do it. Your parents have cars of course, but a parents carinvariably comes with strict limits. You need to ask every time you need it, let your parents know exactly where you're going and for how long, and your driving priveledges can always be threatened to make you raise your grades or do the chores. The next big goal then turns into getting a car of your own, which you assure yourself will provide total freedom. But once you do, whether from hard work and shrewd buying or just a large amount of luck, you find once again it comes with just as much responsibility and labor as freedom. Even though you have your own car now, it is highly unlikely that your parents will simply let you leave whenever you want and not ask any questions or set any curfews. And besides that, there's the gas. Even though our parents have been complaining abut it for years, it's still a shock how expensive that gas is. If you have managed to go through life before now without a job or income, you'll find that any extra cash you have is soon burned away in the engine of your car. You'll end up needing a job to keep the gas flowing, so when you do drive you're not going "wherever and whenever you want", you're going to work to pay for the gas that you need to drive to work again tomorrow. Or you can beg and plead with your parents for the money, but if you're dependant on them for your driving ability, you're just back where you started. Overall, getting a license and a car brings just as many responsibilities and limits as it does freedom and liberty. Of course, that shouldn't stop anybody from getting one anyways as soon as they possible can.

Summer Sports, Winter Snow: The Battle Begins

Last Wednesday (Sept. 22nd) was the official first day of fall, but Park City is obviously ahead of the times when it comes to the seasons, as well as everything else. When trees have been bursting in fiery orange and red explosions for weeks, and the air has been steadily chilling, everybody know it's fall here. What not everyone knows is that those burning trees are the first volley in the yearly battle between snow and sports. Soon, huge snowstorms will come in like hulking battleships and bombard the hills with great drifts of snow. Most of the town will rejoice, "Ski Season!", and the rest will grown and pull out their shovels. Because the key to sports is practice, but the problem with practicing is that generally, it's much easier to practice on a field that's NOT covered with icy piles of snow. So the dutiful teenage athletes will troop out to the frontier, armed with shovels and gloves, to try to reclaim the precious fields. But it seems the winter gods take a spot of dead grass or green astro-turf as a personal affront, and will immediately retaliate with salvos of freezing winds and sleet. The brave jocks will resort to any means, any trick to keep those fields clear. Tarps, wheelbarrows and sleds are all converted to ambulances to carry away the defeated snow drifts. Parents, siblings and any unfortunate passerby are drafted for the war effort. Various coaches debate strategies like general, whether to start on the outside and work inwards, or cut stripes through the middle to let the ground heat up underneath. Basin Rec officials  prevent war crimes against the innocent grass fields caught in the middle. The sports teams hold out as long as they can, bravely shoveling and hauling the snow away, then retreat from the fields in shame or glory at the end of the season, and pull on their ski-boots. Until spring, that is.

Main Street: Cool Air and Hot Deals

Teens need a place to hang out. Or places, preferably. In Park City "the place" seems to be Redstone. With its mix of fast food and fine dining, of movie theaters and toy stores, it seems to be the favorite place for teens to go and stand around instead of actually using any of the fun attractions. However, Redstone isn't the only cool spot in Park City. Main Street is often overlooked when it comes to places to "hang out". It has a bit of a bad reputation of being full of tourist shops and overpriced clothing, but Main Street has much more to offer than most kids realize. Besides the tourist traps, it also has unique art exhibits, some really good food (i.e Cows), and some killer deals. Park City Film Series' "Dinner and a Movie" deal is one of the best. Go to one of the many restaurants that offers it, great places like Main Street Pizza and Noodle and the Silver Star Cafe, and pick from a special menu. After a delicious dinner, cool off in the wonderfully crisp air as you stroll down to the Jim Santy Auditorium, where you will be treated to one of the many excellent movies they show there as part of the Park City Film Series. Whether a romantic dinner and intimate movie with a date, or just as some quality food and a flick with friends, you're in for a good time, and cheap too. $30 will get you spaghetti for two at Main Street Pizza and Noodle and two movie tickets. Not a bad price for a memorable night on the town. The next time instead of "hanging out" you feel like you actually want to do something and have a good time, remember to incluide Main Street in your list.

Winter Rush: Grab ski passes while you can.

There's a nip in the air and a bustle on the mountains as winter approaches and the resorts hurry to prepare. But the resort employees aren't the only ones getting ready for ski season. As any teen in Park City knows, the time to get ready to rip it up is now, before the crush of tourists and price-hikes. Kids everywhere are on the lookout for new gear and new passes, and of course they want the cheapest they can get. All sorts of tips and tricks abound to keep that cash in your pocket and your skis on the hill, and the devoted rider can save enough to even afford a lunch or two. Passes are the easiest . Academic or enterprising students can get discount passes, for everything from good grades to signing up early. Another much-looked-for option is a connection in the business. Anyone is worth getting to know if they can hook you up with a free or discount pass, whether it be relatives, neighbors or someone you meet on the street. There's also that rush for resort jobs, ski patrol for the lucky and lift-duty for the rest, that provide the best benefits: free passes. There are even kids who will try to use last year's passes, or photocopy someone else's pass, and invariably will not end up on the mountain anytime soon. But whatever you do, hurry up, because those deals are ticking down and tourists are planning their vacations. <i>To be sure you don't miss out, check out Andrew Kirk's story on discount passes in Saturday's Park Record (September 18th).</i>